What would you do if you see someone you know is parenting an explosive child? Would you offer to help them in any way you could or do your best to avoid them? This might depend on age and other factors. I know for myself it would depend on how old I was at the time. When I was a teenager, I would have more than likely ran for the hills. What if it was someone you do not know but obviously needs help?
How would you know if it was appropriate to do or not? Much of this is measured by natural instinct. An overall judge of a person's look, mood, and body language. This is natural though. It is the human element otherwise known as human nature. These are tough questions and touchy too, when considering social etiquette.
If someone you know is parenting an explosive child, Morticia addams costume it would not be at all out of line if you offer to help them out occasionally. This does not mean that you will be alone with a tough to get along with toddler. It could be a million different other things. This is just one of those polite society misunderstandings that many people naturally gravitate away from struggling parents. It should not be this way and not everyone is like that. People need not be so distant, so unconcerned, or uninvolved.
There is a popular television program called "What Would You Do?" on ABC, where they put on various social experiments and film them in public. Simple things like watching a child standing on a busy sidewalk in a major downtown metropolitan City all alone and then see how things turn out. Seeing what the public or certain individuals will do. It is an amazing premise really. It is very entertaining as well as insightful in an alarming way.
Now in this case, where the toddlers stood in busy city sidewalks all alone, one child stood for four hours and no one even noticed! Not on person for four hours. One of the findings throughout this, very hands on approach to research, was that it has a lot to do with eye level and lack of making eye contact. The child who stood for four hours was eventually noticed but by another child who was riding along on a scooter. You could see him make eye contact almost instantly through the eyes of the camera. They were roughly the same height, when they were going by so he was more apt to take notice and he alerted his mother.
There was another social experiment they did recently mimicking a true-life incident of a mother who had been fed up from her explosive children. Her kids were constantly fighting and arguing in the car when she was driving. This Westchester County, New York Mother made headlines when she stopped her car and she made them get out and walk the rest of the way home. She did it to prove a point and to make them responsible.
I am all for parents doing things their own way but She left them All Alone!
To me that is just crazy. Apparently, it appears a little off to many others as well due to all the publicity the incident received. The woman was charged with child endangerment but then later these charges were all dropped. This sent many people straight to their message boards of choice. Some use phones and others computers all to alert the press with their opinions. Filling blogs, emails, forums, and news centers with comments all about it.
Then the show "What Would You DO?" did the scene in many various places and in many different ways. The interesting outcomes were subject to the smallest detail. For instance, the way the mother and children dressed made the public react in very different ways. If the mother and children were in a normal working class look, people stepped in and defended the children right away. It was almost immediate.
Interestingly enough, the same group did the exact same experiment again word for word and in the same place, only this time made over in a wealthy look, like they were rich people. No one, Not one person intervened. We should always get involved no matter the look or social class. One good thing about us though is most are quick to respond to out right abuse or violence.
We all seem to get involved if anyone suspects abuse. We seem to be up to par on this but what if you or someone you know is parenting an explosive child? Many just ignore it but there are those out there who do offer help. It is not too out of line to offer help.
In fact, someone offered me help once when at a grocery store and it is one of the reasons I am writing this. At first I thought it was an employee of the store but it quickly became evident that was not the case. It was an incredibly nice gesture and extremely appreciated.
Of course, we must also take into consideration that there are limits to what we can do, should do and what is expected of us. If we see others experiencing troubles that we have some familiarity with; then there is no reason we should not share and offer some help occasionally. If we all just make a little extra effort to help others out we can all end up feeling better about ourselves and for the right reasons.
Well, the premise here is similar. We always tend to judge people after the facts and we do it because it makes us feel better about ourselves. We all do it though some more than others do. It is not right, but it is human nature. We are also very influenced by perception and appearance. We should make an effort to look past this, to stop our thinking too critical of each other and try to appreciate our differences so long as they are harmless in nature.
One thing that strikes me about this whole train of thought is those children who are 'better off' are really no better or worse than the children who are portrayed as a member of an average working class family. Children are children no matter what and people are people too. We need to realize that there is no other way to avoid this human nature except through strong, conscious effort.
We all need to try to go the extra mile when we can. This is a tough world but that does not mean we are all rough around the edges. We should do our best to see things from an objective point of view. It is hard to do that is certain but it does not always have to be. It is a choice you make all on your own but affects everyone. Ever heard of that karmic belief that if you do enough nice things it will eventually come back to you and someone will do something nice for you.
Well, if you or someone you know is parenting an explosive child then maybe you could help. You never really know unless you ask and it is an individual choice. The best way to look at it this, is as if it were you in their shoes. One thing is certain it would not hurt to offer. The way many others see it, is as helping the kids, some see it as helping out the parents, and still many others see it, those who also see a better world, see it as helping themselves.
This has been a bit of a rant and for that, I apologize. However, if you are a struggling parent and need help getting your child to cooperate fast and effectively, check this out--> Behavior Problems Children or Parenting Explosive Children you will be very glad you did.
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